textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize