I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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