We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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