whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
