Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
