u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
