I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
