get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
