I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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