You work out of a Hotel?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
