I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
