What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
