i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
