i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
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If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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