So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
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Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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