Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
