It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
