i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
