So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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