Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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