id be glad to
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
