After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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