I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
