Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
