i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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