this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
