it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
