Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
