You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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