ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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