ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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