Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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