she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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