i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
