sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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