Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
