Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
