Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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