she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
