I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
