I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
