If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
