At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
