Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
