New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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