why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
