Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish they made helmets for livers.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
