i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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