So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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