Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sober January is a disaster.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
