oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
