i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
