I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
