and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm both gender and math confused
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
