home. puking in laundry basket.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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