We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
