You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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