i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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