I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
