Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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