Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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