FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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